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1972

FOR STERLING WITH LOVE AND RESENTMENT

Curled up next to me on the bed

(But you're too bulky to be curled up)

Falling asleep and mumbling that y ou are so tired

Because you hadn't been able to fall asleep without me the

night before

And so here we are and you say 'now I can sleep'

But what about me? I had no sleep last night

that is my own common problem and was It because I wasn't with you

Sometimes that has been it, but there are so many other phantoms

to haunt me awake

And now yes, I am glad to be with you and It is nice to watch

You sleep

Predictably like a little boy

And I know you are dreaming and I am watching you and so

/let you direct the scene and would even be glad to

But I fidget for a book. After two or three false starts find one

Andmake a cup of tea then place myselfaround you on the bed

And read it

It is my scene now and I pause to watch myself

But soon forget

Reading Sylvia Plath mwmuring dead

She takes me back to myself

Where I was the other night when /laid next to you and mumbled

Something about feeling safe to sleep and watched me

Didyou know that braced against your body, I saw myself

Burning and body's flesh bubbling in the reflection ofshiney

Metal ofjet planes crashing

Three times from the sky, before you woke me

To say some loving thing.

-CHRIS DOUGLASS

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